a brand new life

As I begin and come into summer here in Baltimore, I see my life differently now. As a friend of mine said so eloquently yesterday, our lives were theirs, and now they are gone and we must go on with ours, but with them still in our hearts, and oddly enough no longer in our lives. What we had is no longer. We have to strive to become again. We need to refind ourselves. As as much as I wish I could feel guilty, I really don't. I want to feel happy again. I want to feel excited and not feel that that isn't a fair feeling. I want to laugh and feel the feeling of excitement. It will come with time. We must be patient. That is all we have now. Not the ones we hoped to be with for the rest of our lives, but only their memories. So now it is my time. It is time to begin to heal and feel and cry and go on. Travel, read, garden and be. Take care of myself and be healthy.